Many people cringe at the constant
changes in country, language, and culture that I welcome into my life. I have been
asked - on more than one occasion - why I am unable to settle down in a small,
gated suburban community where I could enjoy a golden Labrador, bed of tulips,
comfortable shoes, and a lifetime Costco membership?
While these inevitable changes may seem
tortuous for some, they have been positive for my family. In fact, I would
argue that this pseudo-volatility has
encouraged my toddler to become a flexible and open minded child who is
developing a deep awareness and appreciation for the world and its delightful
diversity.
Giggle. Giggle. Well, ahem, he is the prototypical
child described above once in a while.
The rest of the time, my son is a
typical toddler who unabashedly shares his thoughts - ones that are unfiltered,
brutal and culturally insensitive. I wonder at what age his brains synaptic
growth will introduce a mechanism that filters his thoughts before they are expelled violently? Andy
and I were horrified last week in Sri Lanka. While walking through the
Botanical Gardens a group of burka clad women passed us on a path. Cedric began
to excitedly jump while shouting “Gorillas, look there are gorillas! Where are
orangutans? I love gorilla monkeys!” Goodness. Andy and I exhaled a huge sigh
of relief once realizing that nobody had made the connection between what he
was saying and where he was looking.
These
rabbit-hopping-ants-in-the-pants-lightning-paced changes in his life have also
provoked a tad of linguistic confusion. Funnily enough, we welcome this
confusion since it masks his blunt comments! The incident that best summarizes
his linguistic goulash was when he barked ** “Bu yao, go domu” (which means “I
do not want you here, go away)” to a temporary babysitter in China.
Perhaps-maybe-or-even-indeed a bit
aggressive and rude, but the impact of his comment was diluted by the curls and
contagious giggles of my precocious toddler coupled with my babysitter’s lack
of comprehension. As a side note, we quickly learned that she lacked
comprehension in most matters, irrespective of the language being used. As
Cedric challenged her to respond to his puffed aggression, the babysitter
tickled him and commented on his cherubic expression. ‘Brave lady’ I thought,
shuffling uncomfortably and red-faced as I tried to stifle emerging giggles of
my own.
With time, one learns to expect such
verbal outbursts and a few months later in New York I hardly flinched when
trying to conceal one of Cedric’s blasé observations. While we were riding the
subway, he was suddenly distracted by a woman who was horizontally challenged
(at about 300 pounds) and asked ** “Why pani gruba? Bu jolie.” While I tried to
discreetly place Cedric’s accusatory finger back on his lap, the woman’s eyes
began to dart back and forth, questioning and defensive. As she started to
huff, puff and protest I - overflowing with sweetness and smiles - informed her
that she reminded Cedric of his very beautiful grandmother.
My heroic overture was deflated by my
son remarking - rather loudly and with newly honed impeccable
pronunciation - “Mama, why you say she look like **Babcia, she no look
like Babcia!” The
conclusion is that, while I fear imposing my own cultural-linguistic-confusion
on him, his potpourri of influences seems to make perfect sense in his
mind.
Despite the hiccups, or perhaps in spite
of, we try to foster multilingualism at
home. Cedric has his own opinion however, and prefers to chat almost
exclusively in English, pushing to the side his
Chinese-Polish-Swiss-German-and-French. Excepting for a few negations (I don’t
want, I don’t like, I don’t do) his level of Mandarin is decreasing daily and
his Polish is nearly nonexistent. We were a bit ambitious (read: naive) in
assuming he would not forget the basics of these languages when moving to
France and even hired a Chinese babysitter to maintain his Chinese level. At
this point we either need to admit defeat, increase her hours or frequent the
gourmet Chinese take-away shop on our road. In fact, the lady who works at this
intimate shop adores Cedric and is thrilled when he asks for jaozi in Mandarin.
Her face lights up when he confidently prances through the door and once can
see her twitching in anxious delight for the moment she can scoop him into her
arms. Despite her little dance that begs the question - do you have to pee -
she always waits until her customers have trickled out of the shop before
lunging towards him. Quite accustomed to being handled by oodles of strangers
around the globe, Cedric tolerates her effusive and loud bouts of affection. I
suspect that the candies and spring rolls that she - literally - shoves into
his open and eager mouth contribute to his malleability. As she runs away to
the back kitchen with Cedric en tow, I can hear her chattering to the kitchen
staff in excited tones “Yes, yes he understands Chinese!” Smiling, I sit down
and have a coffee and enjoy the 30 minutes of free babysitting.
In terms of his Polish, I spoke to
Cedric exclusively in Polish for the first two years of his life. Since we
moved to France five months ago I switched to English and now, when I speak in
Polish, his response is “Mama, why you no speak English, I don’t understand
your Chinese.” Enough said.
He has
already mastered the French terms that are
obvious-necessary-and-fundamental-for-the-survival-of-a-toddler. His favorites
are c’est a moi, no, jolie pee-pee, vous pas partage,
and of course, frommage. In just a few weeks he has also developed the
tendency of saying ohh la la and throwing kisses to everyone. His
English is also increasing by leaps and bounds and the logic of his sentence
construction is often entertaining. For example, when leaving a friend’s home I
asked him to thank her for her hospitality as well as dinner. Eyes wide, he
looked at her earnestly and said “Thank you for having me, and thank you for
eating me.”
Despite the mild linguistic confusion
caused by a massive input of stimuli that swirls around in his tiny head, he
remains fascinated by the world. His love of maps and planes is relentless
(mildly-bordering-on-compulsive-obsessive) but isn’t this better than a love
for Hello Kitty, Barbie or Transformers. He takes great pleasure in thoroughly
examining maps and he has two favorites - the first was a map (in the form of a
placemat) and the second is a vestige of mine from college. When looking at the
placemat he explains that the “Eiffel Tower is in Paris next to man who sell
ice cream. Cedric eat ice-cream every day.” He exaggerates, but I must admit
that years of lactose deprivation in Africa and Asia have resulted in a
cult-obsessive-fascination-and-adoration for the Indian man selling Italian
gelato near the tower. And forgive me for I have sinned and I have fed
excessive amounts of ice cream to my toddler.
When not fixated by the placemat during
meals, he can often be found with his nose pressed to a large map that hangs in
our home office. Despite the fact that it is wrinkled, bent and assumes an
obnoxious amount of precious Parisian space, it had made its way into our
shipment from Shanghai. Ooops. Staring at it intently, he scratches his head
and says, “I’m thinking” before inquiring about every inch of this map.
Every-single-mountain-range-river-country-border. And then repeats the same
questions ten minutes later. With his finger and often accompanied by a
miniature car or plane, he traces around different countries. “Mama walk from
China to Babcia Babcia at New York, and Cedric take plane to Sri Lanka to wash
elephants.” During college I also spent hours gazing at this map and writing
down the names of the countries I wanted to visit; perhaps this is proof of our
genetic compatibility.
And he embarks on lovely voyages
through the power of imagination all day whether in the bath, walking to
school, or at the park. At the park there is a large wooden train upon which he
sits and his favorite voyage tends to repeat: after taking my payment of a few
rocks, he lets me know that “We driving to Shanghai to see Amaia and say Hola.”
** Phrase 1 - Bu
you, go domu / I don’t want you, you go home
Bu you (Chinese, I
don’t want), Go (English, go), Domu (Polish, home)
Phrase 2 - Why pani
gruba? Bu jolie. / Why lady fat? It is not beautiful.
Why (English, why),
pani gruba (Polish, fat lady), bu (Chinese, not), jolie (French, beautiful)
Phrase 3 – Babcia
(Polish, grandmother) ***